Mother Tongue - Is it really a big deal.. ?

I was reading something on a friend's blog which got me thinking about this -

Is it really a big deal if you are not thinking or talking to yourself in your own native language/mother tongue ? Like my friend, I seem to be more comfortable speaking, typing, arguing or discussing in english more than in my mother tongue.. But, is that a bad thing ?

Agreed, we grew up speaking our mother tongue at home.. its what we first learn from childhood, so we are "supposed" to be most comfortable speaking it than other languages.. But, is it something bad if you are more comfortable speaking some other language than your own ?!

Back when i was about 8/9 may be ..when my english teacher used to tell me that to know a language and speak it really well, you must think in the language.. and I remember consciously making myself "think" in english.. I guess most of us convent-school-goers kinda grew up.. thinking in "english" even though its not our mother tongue... So, may be we got used to thinking more in english than our own language.. Ofcourse attending schools in places where the students come from different regions also makes it such that one cannot use their native language everywhere.. Not to mention higher-education books are all in english and sometimes there is total lack jargons in the regional language.. which gets us using english more often.. Its almost like a necessity.. especially in the corporate.. globalized job market.. too..u cant get anywhere in most parts of the world without english..

But, thinking about the question of whether its something one should feel bad about.. I am not so sure.. Granted, we need to speak our own language.. its who we are.. our identity.. to preserve our culture and rich history and heritage... etc .. But, ultimately, isnt language a means to express your feelings and thoughts.. ? a tool that enables us to interact with the other social beings in the world... Does it really matter what exactly it is ?

OK ...after saying all of that, I should probably add, living outside of India, I do try to enforce speaking in our regional language at home.. with my kids..esp.. I teach them every word quite religiously.. and they might wonder the same in future.. But, if they wont learn it, they wont be able to appreciate or enjoy some things I do.. they may not be able to communicate with grandparents and other relatives who cant speak english.. and that would be a shame.. :)

So my take on this.. the most number of languages you are comfortable with, the better it is for you in this world.. :) I would learn spanish and chinese.. if I get a chance...

Thought for the day..

Read this somewhere today -

"Winners see the dream and develop plans while the rest see the obstacles & develop justifications."

Very very true..

Ugadi Wishes !!

Why buying gift cards is not such a good idea anymore ?

Do you give and receive a lot of gift cards ?? If yes, then you better get used taking the risk they come with...

When the store gift cards were first introduced, it seemed like such a great idea.. !! It is a great idea for the most part..if you know the receiver will want to buy something from that store.

But, these days with the economic melt downs, you dont know when the stores are going out of business/declaring bankruptcy.. ! If you dont follow up with all the news, and find out a little late, you may be surprised to know that the $50 gift card that you were saving to use at a mega sale.. wouldnt be accepted any more..

A New Beginning...

With so much media focus on the elections ... there is no way anyone would have missed the election news... I have been following the reports pretty closely.. for the past 2 yrs almost..and yesterday.. finally.. it came to an end. My belief in "nothing is inevitable"..."everything is possible".. in the land of opportunity and hope.. has been renewed.. !! Not only will these elections go into the history books.. about the many firsts involved in it.. but it also showed that the people of the country can ...in one voice.. say what they feel....through their fundamental right to vote...

I tried to stay away from blogging about the "sensitive issues"... on this blog.. for quite sometime now and found myself in short of words to say.. It almost seems like all I have to say these days.. is about topics that are deemed as "sensitive".. But, then I thought, the whole purpose of why I started blogging was to share my thoughts with the world.. and if I am holding back on the real important things.. then there is no point.. ! So, today I decided to move my self-imposed blogging boundaries a little farther.. and let loose..

Change has been pending in America..for a while now.. and no matter which candidate was chosen to be the 44th president, change seems inevitable. Its what kind of change, that we want and how we make it happen..are the things that divide us.. But, everyone agrees.. that change.. is needed.. a change..

Where the goodness of the people and greatness of the country is still alive and thriving..
Where the world looks up for leadership..that can unite..not divide..
Where it is still the land of hope and opportunity for everyone in the world..
Where this great country is viewed as a friend, philosopher and guide.. not a bully..
Where the leaders understand war is the absolute last resort ..if nothing else works..
Where family values and moral ethics are strong and unshakeable..
Where people dont worry about their jobs being secure and providing for the family
Where people dont have to think twice about visiting a doctor when they are sick
Where kids can go to school and expect to get top-class education that would make them very competitive in the current global market
Where hard work is appreciated and rewarded...
Where people can live their lives peacefully without fear of crime or terror
Where everyone realizes the need to conserve the diminishing.. invaluable natural resources
Where people are able to buy and sell homes.. without panic..
Where people of different religions, national origins, colors, culture..coexist as people of one country as fellow human beings
Where personal freedoms of different sorts are valuable.. and cherished by individuals..not abused or misused
and the list goes on and on...

Its a new beginning.... On a brand new morning.. of hope and opportunity that the people of the world are longing for.. !! The one that our new president-elect promises...You can tell from my tone, that I am especially feeling patriotic/sentimental today ... and I am eager to see the change everyone has been talking about these past couple of years.. Lets see what is in store.. and how the change will come about..and lets all be a part of it..

O My Friend...

Over the weekend, we had a surprise farewell party for one of our close friends who is moving back to India for good.. ! And some of us sang the song from Happy Days (O My Friend) .. brought tears into all our eyes... became very sentimental and emotional.. Even some of the guys had watery eyes.. though they didn't really cry.. like us mortal gals :) Its kind of a mixed feelings..occasion.. we were happy.. they were able to make the hard decision that many of us wish to make.. but are afraid of doing it ! on the other hand we would miss them here..

Looks like there is no way to NOT MISS anyone.. in life these days.. ! First move to a new place in search of opportunities..and better life.. while we are here, miss our family in India.. then as time goes on, somehow we don't see it as being better anymore..we start to question as to why we are where we are..and think about going back.. and when we do go back to where we came from, we miss the life here. Some people are bold enough to realize and make a decision to transition early, some take more time.. ! And then there are another group of people who never moved anywhere else, and they itch for change.. ! whatever people do, nothing is ever satisfactory..to anyone.. Why do we impose such things upon ourselves.. ?

चलते चलते मेरे ये गीत याद रखना कभी अलविदा न कहना ... कभी अलविदा न कहना॥

Value vs Effort / Cost

This seems to be a question I have to answer in most things I do these days.. Whether its at work, or buying something or even blogging.. ! How much value does this generate ? Is it worth it ? This question is popping up more in my head these days.. Have I become .....hmmm too calculative ? Or is it just that life is full of such decisions for everyone ?!

Whats up with this whole size 0 business?

That its for invisible people ? Or that their waist is so small its almost non-existent ?! The concept is just way too unrealistic. Though, I have to accept there are many people who do wear size 0. The whole idea of being as thin as u can be to almost the level that u are a size nothing.. is just crazy. ..

what are your thoughts about this ?

Keeping in touch...

How hard is it to keep in touch with friends ? Sometimes it may really be the case that there is no way of communicating with them.

Down the road somehow, you hope to get in touch with such long lost friends from school and college. But most times, its just either a phone call or an email away. Life is so busy in this materialistic, mechanical world, that keeping in touch and sharing conversations, doesnt seem to be a huge priority anymore. 24 hours of a day just dont seem to be enough to get all the things done.

True, its hard enough having to juggle with kids,work, home, bills etc...who has time for phone calls and pointless chats ? But is it really a matter of time ? If really "not enough time" is the reason, how are we able to stay up-to-date with whos who in hollywood ? And the best new gadget out there is.. ?

Well, sadly they seem to take up a higher spot on the list than talking to friends.. I guess. Anyway.. friendships are mutual, the relationship will be alive only if both people engage in keeping it so.. and I guess after a while, we become so busy and occupied with the regular things going on in life.. that we dont remember how happy we were before all these responsibilities became a part of us..and forget what it is to have good friends.. and dont care about that anymore.. .or that there are other things in life that give us such pleasure.. that we dont remember about past relationships anymore.. Or am I just thinking too much over this friends thing ?!

Monday Morning Blues

Its raining cats and dogs and a chilly 29 degrees.. at 6:30 AM ..this morning, I got on my daily bus and noticed a similar expression on almost everyone's face - "I am not happy being here."
Even if the weather wasn't so bad, monday mornings in general seem to be a bit of the "Dont disturb me" days.. Most people seem to be not too excited about it. Is it because they dont like what they would do the rest of the day/week until the next weekend ? Or is it just the start of the routine factor that annoys them ? or may be lack of sleep over the weekend they were planning to catch up on...that they never did due to many social activities. I came into work thinking about it and I have to say everyone here too seems a bit rigid.. and not so approchable.. unlike most of the other days. I guess in my case, its just the start of another busy week.. after a fun/tiring weekend.. and even though I love what I do at work... monday mornings are somehow the most boring time of the week... :(

Do you also suffer from the "Monday Morning Blues" ?

What does it mean to be rich?

I was listening to a radio programme that spoke about this topic. This is one question everyone seems to have an answer for. Its interesting what people come up with. What is your take on it ?

What is the cost of freedom ?

Everytime I listen to news that an innocent person has been serving time in jail "by mistake" .. for a crime he/she did not commit, and now being released after many years..due to the results of a DNA test or something like that, I wonder... How much does a person's freedom really cost ? Looks like everyone has a different price tag attached to this question. Does all that compensation make the pain go away.. or get back the lost time. All that money will definitely buy a very good vacation .. But how does anyone come up with a price tag for the lost time or freedom..or the pain and suffering that the person in question went through all the years in the jail and being treated as a criminal for a crime they did not commit ?! And what about the trauma that the family members may have gone through of trust/distrust, humiliation/embarrassment etc. etc. and how frustrating it is to the families of the victims of the actual crime.. to know that the real culprit was never brought to justice in all that time .. ! Sad..but some errors people make are really hard to fix.. !

Distance and relationships

No, I am not talking about romantic/marriage type relationships. But about friends.. the really good ones.. from childhood/school/college ..you grew up together with. I was talking to a friend the other day .. and reading a blog of another.. and its like I hardly know them now. We were best buddies back then. But life has become so different for each of us.. being where we are .. and how far we are.. our interests and priorities have changed , we also have other "significant" people in our lives now that seem to matter more... it almost seems like there arent very many things we share in common anymore. The things that brought us together and made us friends in the first place..seem to be lost somewhere.. Though its kind of hard to accept, distance does change the relationships in ways that are rarely desirable.The very first time I realized this with a very dear friend of mine, I was very disappointed like I had lost something that I could never get back and I did not want to accept it. .. gradually i guess it has sinked in now....

But inspite of all that, I still do feel a strong sense of connection/attachment (not with everyone but very few) and I do remember that feeling of not having to hesitate and the unconditional acceptance.. I got from my dear friends.. from many years ago.. I know they have a different lifestyle, different things they are interested in, we rarely talk.. since all of us are too "busy"for that..I still feel deep in my heart that I know them. I think they feel that with me too.. or atleast I hope they do...

I never really thought much before when someone said they were friends from "X" number of years.. as to what the big deal about it is. Now I know... what the big deal is.. the relationship has survived the test of time.. and they can still connect and relate and laugh about things..share joy and sadness..be there for each other in happy and tough times.. after all these years.. its a true friendship and a real connection.. that doesnt fade with time and survives all obstacles created by life.. and its definitely something precious to have...and celebrate..and feel good about... !

What is happenning to this world ?!

There isnt one good thing on the news right now, that I can read and feel good about ... OK the redsox win is an exception for their fans I am sure. But, everything else is going so wrong... Terrorist Groups targetting children to be their next "terror delivery method", emergencies in already politically unstable countries, record-high foreclosure rates in the US real estate market, Labor union strikes at companies that are already not doing great , dollar value dwindling and banks in shortage of funds.. I can go on an on..with this list.. But yet inspite of all this, some how, media and news are still surrounded around things that are not important to most people on this earth. Why should I care "How much Britney Spears spends on her clothes every month" ? Who cares what she does with her money and her life.. ok.. may be some people do. But thats not even close to the number of people who care about their home values going down ? or even the number of people whose lives have been devastated due to wild fires in california.. But still, there it is, the news about her each and every day as one of the headlines along with the "other stuff".. How can a news about a celebrity be on the same scale ? Are people more interested in reading about such things than the real issues in the world right now ? Or is it becoz they have so much frustration about the every day life that this is a form of entertainment to them ? I dont know..

Life without internet !

I cant imagine my life without internet , email or even without google for that matter.

Anything I want to know about .. .hmm.. closest chinese restaurant to my home, hmm.. whats the cost of a refrigerator.. where can I buy the cheapest TV.. What is the true meaning of Psyche ? Whats the scoop on Tom Cruise these days ? How good is the new Harry Potter movie.. ? Well .. Think of all the businesses that wouldnt be running. Can you imagine a world without online shopping, without online news, gosh.. I cant think there is way too much to put.

If writing letters was the only way to keep in touch with people who live geographically far from me, I dont think I would have kept in touch with more than 2 or may be 3 of my good friends. Not that I dont want to.. but its just too much to think, write, post, wait for a reply etc. etc. Thanks to the inventors of web email. Keeping in touch has become so much easier !! Inspite of this, I still do have many pending replies to send, ..and many excuses I make.. Wonder how our parents managed to keep in touch with their friends from high-school !!

How did people live before the internet ?! How our lives would have been without it now !! I think its the greatest invention ever made in the recent years ! I really cannot imagine having to live without it !! Can you ?

Triumph and Defeat

Have you ever been in hard situations..(really hard ones) in life ? Are you one of those happy-go-lucky types .. that always have been fortunate somehow.. or been at the right place at the right time and never had to go through any of life's obstacles ? If you are the second kind.. you am not sure if you would find any "real" sense in the words below.. but all of the others, do read on..

Below is a poem by Rudyard Kipling, that a good friend of mine shared.. that I want to share here..

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,‘
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,i
f neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And - which is more - you’ll be a Man, my son!

Why Fairy Tales ?

Why are young girls taught to dream about a knight in the shining armour..riding a beautiful white horse.. who will come your way and pick you up to take you to the world of joy and wonder.. one who loves you unconditionally.. for who you are? There are innumerable movies based on that idea.. and many many cultural references to it.. Why do love stories always end up as "happily ever after.." ? Does it really happen in life ?

I guess by now you must be thinking that I am in a considerably bad mood today.. Ok.. before you go on assuming what must have happenned etc., ..Let me warn you nothing exciting really.. Sorry to be a spoil-sport but all I did was watch a movie.. where the heroine's friend offers some practical advice(to the heroine) about choosing the life partner ..and how it works for the Indian girls. And I had to shed some more light on the topic.. may be..intended for all those dreamers..to wake up and be practical.. On the same topic, I picked up this quote somewhere.. Ideal soul-mates do exist in an ideal world... but to search for the ideal in the real world.. means you are not dealing with your life in an ideal manner.. So, nothing or no one is ever perfect. Try to accept that, and work with the differences and who knows.. your life might infact turn into a wonderful dream like saga..of love...

A Million Dollar Question

Think about it.. !! What would you do if you had a million dollars ?

Buy a large house, a cool convertible, have parties and buy nice clothes ? Or will you put it all in the bank ? What would you do ? Or do you need a few minutes to answer the question so that you can think up something ? Do you see what I am getting at ? What is your "Financial" lifestyle ? Are you living today ?? or living for tomorrow ? or are you planning now to be able to live tomorrow ? Because you are saving, do you stop living now, save each and every penny, compromise on all wishes ?? Or do you satisfy all your wishes now and spend everything you have now, and suffer the consequences in future. .. If u dont plan ur future, you may not have one.. and if you dont live your present, then you may not really understand how to live even in your future. I am not quite sure what my plan is but one thing i do know is that I am not giving up on one for the other.. I believe there should be a balance...

A Celebration Of Being Alive

Back when I was in school, my birthday was the most special day of the year for me.I looked forward to the day each and every year. There were so many perks being "the birthday girl" not only at home but at school too.Instead of the usual navy/white uniform, you were allowed to wear whatever you liked.It was the only day you could wear nail polish, let your hair down, wear high heels or whatever..Not only that but we could also pass up the homework from the previous day :) You had total immunity that day.. My parents always had a wonderful party for me and all my friends came over. It was the only school-day that I was allowed to stay up a little late too :) Oh so much fun !

I never really met anyone that didn't enjoy their birthday..up until a couple of years ago. Why would anyone not like to celebrate their birthday? .. More recently I was talking to someone about this very same topic and this time I just couldnt be without thinking into it.. I guess for some its candles and cake..fun and friends, for some its the thought of growing old (I am pretty sure no one is happy about aging), for some it is way too embarrassing to be in the spotlight, and for some its just another day of the year it has always been. So, What is so special about it anyway ? Why do people celebrate birthdays ? I was thinking about this, when suddenly I remembered something..a little bit out-of-context.

Long long ago when I was in middle school, we had an essay in the English textbook titled : "In Celebration of Being Alive". I am not able to recollect the whole story now, but all I remember is that the story was very touching.. very sad.. but happy too..and it left a lasting influence on my mind. I had to read it again.. I tried looking up on the Internet and after some frantic searching, found just one entry from another person's blog that spoke about the exact same essay. The setting was that of a hospital dorm full of children. Most of the kids are suffering from life-threatening health problems. Waiting to be treated.. waiting for a donor.. or some waiting for death to come..with no more treatment options left.. The doctor walks in and is surprised to see all of them happy. A blind boy and his disabled friend(who doesn't have a leg) are playing the push-cart game. The blind boy is pushing the cart on which the disabled boy is seated and is steering it as well as guiding the blind boy. ..The boys are having a lot of fun moving across the room..while the rest of the crowd cheers them.

This scene..as i visualized in my mind while thinking about it, gave me my answers..Its is not about what happened in one's life before or whats to come in future.. but, about the life we have now..at this very moment.. all the great pleasures that we are able to enjoy..today..the sound of the rain, the scent of the flowers...the warmth of the sun and the beauty of the mountains.. all those magnificient things.. just because we are still alive. Now, THAT is definitely an occasion to celebrate.Isn't it.? And so, ..the day, when your life came into existence....years ago ..becomes significant every year for...... "A Celebration Of Being alive.." !