Value vs Effort / Cost

This seems to be a question I have to answer in most things I do these days.. Whether its at work, or buying something or even blogging.. ! How much value does this generate ? Is it worth it ? This question is popping up more in my head these days.. Have I become .....hmmm too calculative ? Or is it just that life is full of such decisions for everyone ?!

Music - Passion.. Love..Obsession.. ?

If u love something u eat, u eat more of it until ur stomach is full ... u wear a dress u love many many times.. what do u do when u love a song.. listen to it over and over right ?! I have been listening to the same piece of music over and over from the past 3 days.. No i am not bored.. infact I have a really strong desire to do something with it. I have no idea what ! Music instigates emotions in your heart and soul that give u such pleasure... that cannot be explained in words... one has to feel to understand what I am trying to say here...

So, have you ever fallen in love with a piece of music so much so that how much ever you listen to it ... you are not satisfied ? Has it ever happenned to you ? It has happenned to me many times. I donno if I am just passionate..hopelessly emotional.. or just plain crazy.. ?? I wonder ! Whatever I am, I do know this : Music has the power to influence people's minds in ways unimaginable.

Keeping in touch...

How hard is it to keep in touch with friends ? Sometimes it may really be the case that there is no way of communicating with them.

Down the road somehow, you hope to get in touch with such long lost friends from school and college. But most times, its just either a phone call or an email away. Life is so busy in this materialistic, mechanical world, that keeping in touch and sharing conversations, doesnt seem to be a huge priority anymore. 24 hours of a day just dont seem to be enough to get all the things done.

True, its hard enough having to juggle with kids,work, home, bills etc...who has time for phone calls and pointless chats ? But is it really a matter of time ? If really "not enough time" is the reason, how are we able to stay up-to-date with whos who in hollywood ? And the best new gadget out there is.. ?

Well, sadly they seem to take up a higher spot on the list than talking to friends.. I guess. Anyway.. friendships are mutual, the relationship will be alive only if both people engage in keeping it so.. and I guess after a while, we become so busy and occupied with the regular things going on in life.. that we dont remember how happy we were before all these responsibilities became a part of us..and forget what it is to have good friends.. and dont care about that anymore.. .or that there are other things in life that give us such pleasure.. that we dont remember about past relationships anymore.. Or am I just thinking too much over this friends thing ?!

Monday Morning Blues

Its raining cats and dogs and a chilly 29 degrees.. at 6:30 AM ..this morning, I got on my daily bus and noticed a similar expression on almost everyone's face - "I am not happy being here."
Even if the weather wasn't so bad, monday mornings in general seem to be a bit of the "Dont disturb me" days.. Most people seem to be not too excited about it. Is it because they dont like what they would do the rest of the day/week until the next weekend ? Or is it just the start of the routine factor that annoys them ? or may be lack of sleep over the weekend they were planning to catch up on...that they never did due to many social activities. I came into work thinking about it and I have to say everyone here too seems a bit rigid.. and not so approchable.. unlike most of the other days. I guess in my case, its just the start of another busy week.. after a fun/tiring weekend.. and even though I love what I do at work... monday mornings are somehow the most boring time of the week... :(

Do you also suffer from the "Monday Morning Blues" ?

Thanksgiving..

This holiday weekend was like no others in the past couple of years.. ! Well.. nothing much but... my little one decided to wake up a little late and that gave me an opportunity to catch up on some sleep :) But thats pretty good .. considering thats hardly an option for me most days. And thats what I am thankful for this time around :)

Distance and relationships

No, I am not talking about romantic/marriage type relationships. But about friends.. the really good ones.. from childhood/school/college ..you grew up together with. I was talking to a friend the other day .. and reading a blog of another.. and its like I hardly know them now. We were best buddies back then. But life has become so different for each of us.. being where we are .. and how far we are.. our interests and priorities have changed , we also have other "significant" people in our lives now that seem to matter more... it almost seems like there arent very many things we share in common anymore. The things that brought us together and made us friends in the first place..seem to be lost somewhere.. Though its kind of hard to accept, distance does change the relationships in ways that are rarely desirable.The very first time I realized this with a very dear friend of mine, I was very disappointed like I had lost something that I could never get back and I did not want to accept it. .. gradually i guess it has sinked in now....

But inspite of all that, I still do feel a strong sense of connection/attachment (not with everyone but very few) and I do remember that feeling of not having to hesitate and the unconditional acceptance.. I got from my dear friends.. from many years ago.. I know they have a different lifestyle, different things they are interested in, we rarely talk.. since all of us are too "busy"for that..I still feel deep in my heart that I know them. I think they feel that with me too.. or atleast I hope they do...

I never really thought much before when someone said they were friends from "X" number of years.. as to what the big deal about it is. Now I know... what the big deal is.. the relationship has survived the test of time.. and they can still connect and relate and laugh about things..share joy and sadness..be there for each other in happy and tough times.. after all these years.. its a true friendship and a real connection.. that doesnt fade with time and survives all obstacles created by life.. and its definitely something precious to have...and celebrate..and feel good about... !

Goodbye Grandma ...

Last week, there was an unexpected turn in my grandma's life..and in ours...She fell and had a brain injury.. I heard about that and felt extremely sad then I remembered all the wonderful things she did for me, all the love she showered on me always unconditionally...I think of all the happy times.. I have had in her presence.... I wish I had spent more time with her..

Right from the moment the first neurologist said "be prepared", we knew it was coming. There was no hope of her being what she was the day before she fell. Now her life is numbered.. either in hours or days or weeks.. This morning, I found out she is no longer alive.The first thing I felt was not sadness.. not disappointment..but a kind of relief. Dont get me wrong. I really love her a lot.. I will miss her very much..But the past one week was very intense suffering for her.. and for everyone watching her suffer ! IT comes as kind of a relief...

From now on..I will not be able to get a hug from her or a tear when I leave her house.. But she will be in my thoughts and in my heart...I'd remember her always as being my favorite grandma.. who was a great cook.. and a wonderful homemaker, the most innocent and the sweetest person I have ever known in my life.. Goodbye Grandma.. I will miss you.